Sadly, not all parents or parental figures are honourable people. Respecting those whose behaviour is less than honourable is not easy at all. For example, victims of verbal, sexual and emotional or physical were the perpetrator is a parent, generally find it difficult to honour that guilty parent.
In the Fifth Commandment, God does not demand that children of abusive parents continue to subject themselves or their own children to abuse and maltreatment. However, God expects that we do honour our elders.
To begin this process we first need to deal with our own attitudes. In Matthew 5:44-45, Jesus tells us to love and pray, even for our enemies. This applies to parents who have abused and mistreated us or whose poor examples we simply cannot respect.
We need to learn to harbour no hatred or malice towards them, the abusers. We may strongly disapprove of that person's way of life, and we may despair at their sinful behaviour, but we must
not despise them as a person. This is where God has drawn the line for us and we are blessed when we stay on the right side of the line.
Next, when we have occasion to converse with or about our parents or elders, we should not speak about them in a derogatory way. Instead we should treat them with courtesy and respect. We also need to pray that God will help them understand the error of their ways so that they can be reconciled to Him and through Him eventually with us.
Finally, we should live our lives in a way that honours them through the example we set as sons and daughters. Our own proper and appropriate behaviour can bring them honour they have never personally earned.
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