In Exodus 3, Moses challenged God - "When they ask what is His name? What shall I tell them? God replied "I am who I am and what I am, and I will be what I want to be. Just tell them that I am has sent me". Moses got an answer off God but was still absolutely clueless as it revealed nothing.
God will reveal Himself to us when He is good and ready, in His own time, not ours.
We all have things about us that we just don't get or are not happy with and do not understand why we have been given something. We need to realise that God created us in our mother's womb by His own hand and every single part of you was created to His perfection and there is nothing about you that God doesn't think is beautiful and there is nothing about you that God is not proud of. Just because you are not like someone else does not mean that there is something wrong with you. God created us to be unique. Stop asking God why you are the way you are and decide to like yourself just as you are.
God will fill you in His own time; be content until you get your call. When God does decide to anoint you, you have no choice in the matter. He will give you favour and make people like it. Our lives are ordained from before the beginning of time, by God. We need to get into agreement with Him and not be opposed to what He is trying to do constantly.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him." 1 Corinthians 27-29. One of the reasons that God chose these people is that he knew that they would remain faithful due to thankfulness as they were aware that they were nothing without God.
We need to get God back on His rightful throne in our hearts and minds and trust Him like we have never trusted before, and everything that you want to ask Him something - don't ask, say instead, "I trust in you Lord". Stay faithful, trusting and loyal.
If you have had trauma in your life, don't waste time trying to figure it out, trust God and go through those issues with Him and you will come out on the other side being closer to Him, knowing Him better and being lifted up by His deliverance. God has the power to take anything that the devil has thrown at you to cause harm and turn it around so that the evil (the trauma) can work out solely for good; for your good, for God's Kingdom and for many other people, because our God is a great God. The day will come when there are no more tears, pain or sorrow. "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" Revelation 10:13. We have faith, our vision is blurry but we know that we can fully trust in God. Don't let not knowing cause discontent and a lack of satisfaction in your life. Every time you feel a niggle, quickly respond to it by saying "God I trust you."
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