Patience

As a Christian we should learn and practise attributes that reflect the characteristics of Jesus Christ. Patience tends to be the hardest to learn in today's fast-paced society. Patience means endurance, forbearance, fortitude and long-suffering. These words infer the capacity to endure hardship, difficulty or inconvenience without complaint. In Galatians 5:22-23 patience is described as one of the fruits of the Spirit, perhaps because it emphasises calmness, self-control and the ability or willingness to tolerate delay. Beliefs of those who lack patience:

• I should be able to do this faster and better
  
• They should understand me the first time and not need me to repeat myself
  
• Why should it take so long and so much effort to change and grow?
  
• I will never be able to accomplish everything what I need to
  
• I want this done yesterday
  
• I can't stand things like diets, exercise and counselling, the results take too long to achieve
  
• I will never be able to accomplish my goal of growth and change so why bother trying?
  

Impatience produces so many negative feelings such as frustration, irritation and agitation which then lead to tension, stress and anxiety which can ultimately result in burnout. From a biblical perspective, patience is the ability to accept your human frailty in the pursuit of all areas of spiritual growth. Accepting setbacks can be a tough task. The apostle Paul was acutely aware of the battle going on inside him to try to follow God's law, and recognised how much he needed Christ's help in order to overcome his shortcomings. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15-16,25. He knew he could not do it all on his own without God's help.

Patience is also the ability to show tolerance, compassion, understanding and acceptance toward those who you may perceive as being slower than you are in developing maturity, emotional freedom and coping abilities. Christ expected a need for us to be concerned about the welfare of others. During a dispute between certain disciples who wanted positions of power, He advised, "Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." Mark 10:43-45.

Another aspect of patience is the ability to believe in the concepts of commitment and permanence. It takes patience to learn to be calm and considerate as you handle the growth in your church, career, family and marriage. Patience is needed to maintain a relationship especially in troubled times that may not have an instant solution. Paul wrote to the Galatians, "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:10.

We need to hold tight onto hope and the faithfulness of God during times requiring patience. Waiting for something patiently means that we have to let go of our need for immediate gratification. The Scriptures allows us to wait with eagerness as well as patient endurance. Twice Jesus counselled that "he who endures to the end will be saved" Matthew 10:22, 24:13. Patience allows us to realise that overnight transformations are rarely long lasting. Gradual change and growth have a greater durability, thus requiring patience.

Most people's lives comprise of troughs, peaks and plateaux. We all make mistakes from time to time, but we should not be discouraged. If we fall down, we need to get up, dust ourselves down and with the help of Christ move forward again. One of Solomon's proverbs says that a righteous person falls down seven times, but gets back up each and every time Proverbs 24:16. Patience most importantly is the ability to wait for God's promised outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension or frustration. In Lamentations, Jeremiah states, "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:24-26.

There are many ways in which we can increase our levels of patience:

• Accept the reality of your humanity, in that you need time, effort and energy to change and grow. God knows how much time each one of us needs.
  
• Do not dwell on past mistakes and sins but push forward toward the goal.
  
• Break big goals down into smaller manageable chunks so that you get some quick wins along the way.
  
• Realise that your journey will take a lifetime.
  
• Confront fears about attaining your goal.
  
• Be ready and willing to face challenges as you strive for personal and spiritual growth.
  

And finally, always, always ensure that it is God who is your guide.