Rejection, failure, and unfair comparisons

Rejection is a cause of depression. To be rejected means to be thrown away as having no value or as being unwanted. We were created for acceptance, not rejection. The emotional pain of rejection is one of the deepest kinds, especially if the rejection comes from someone we love or expect to love us. "Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up" Psalm 27:10. When we are saved by Jesus from our sins, our emotions are not saved, so we may still feel many negative things. But at that moment of salvation, the time when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, we receive the fruit of the Holy Spirit. One of these fruits is self-control which will save us from negative emotions. As we learn God's Word and what it says about emotions we can begin to control the negative ones with the help of the Holy Spirit and not allow them expression through our body which now belongs to Jesus. Living by your feelings is to live in the carnal realm, when we ought to be getting our worth and value out of the fact that Jesus loved us enough to die for us. Overcoming the feeling of rejection is not easy but is perfectly possible through the love of Jesus Christ. In Ephesians 3:18-19, Paul prayed that the church would know "the breadth and length and height and depth" of the love that God had for them and that they would experience it for themselves. If you start to focus on the love God shows you, you will realise how great his love is compared to the rejection. So often we let things that happen go by without realising that they are signs of God's love. Every time God gives us favour, he is showing us that he loves us. God shows his love for us in many different ways and having a revelation about his love will keep us from depression. When people reject us, Jesus takes it personally, "He who listens to you listens to me; he who rejects him who sent me." Luke 10:16. Although rejection is an evil thing, we don't have to allow the devil to control our emotions and depress us, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21. Being mindfully joyful and smiling is a good thing as it will help overcome the evil of rejection. Society constantly impresses upon us that winning and success are everything. However, it could be said that failure is also part of true success. Humility is an essential part of our saved character, so a few failures and beatings of our pride will help instil in us a deeper humility. Failures can disappoint, discourage and depress us, but we need to realise that God will use our weaknesses, turning them into good, developing our character and making us a better person. We haven't truly failed until we stop trying, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18. Technically, it is not failure that causes depression but our attitude toward it. If we believe God is greater than our failures, then they have no power over us. "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more," Romans 5:20. Don't be depressed over weaknesses and failures. Rejoice in knowing that because of Jesus, you don't have to stay that way. People without the Lord in their lives only have depression to go to when they fail, but we can go to Jesus which is an excellent reason to rejoice. Comparing our lives with other people's lives can also cause depression. We look at other people, see what they have, own, do or don't do, but the devil never points out what they don't have, only what they do have. We need to believe that God equipped each of us with exactly what we need to fulfil His call on our lives. We look at other people as the standard for what should happen to us, but they cannot be the standard because God sets a new standard with each person. When our value as an individual is firmly rooted in Christ, we are free from the pain of comparisons and competition and this releases joy in our lives. Depression is the result of looking at what we don't have and can't do. Joy is the result of being thankful for every little thing we have and counting ourselves blessed just to be alive and to know Jesus our Lord.

Resist the devil at the onset

"Resist him, standing firm in the faith," 1 Peter 5:9. There are many causes of depression, but only one source: Satan. He wants us pressed down and feeling bad about ourselves so that we won't receive all that Jesus died to give us. One of the biggest tools the devil uses to make us feel bad about ourselves is condemnation, which is a cause of depression. The devil uses it to steal our joy as he knows that "the joy of the Lord is your strength" Nehemiah 8:10. He wants us in a state where we are weak and unable to do anything except put up with whatever he throws at us. People can also be depressed because of something that is wrong with them physically. A chemical imbalance or being too tired and worn out can also cause depression. If the body is depleted due to stress or lack of rest, the person may be restored simply by getting the needed rest and nutrition. However, if the depression is caused by a chemical imbalance then medical help must be sought. Depression can result from physical, mental, emotional or spiritual causes. King David was depressed because he had unconfessed sin in his life Psalm 51. Jonah was depressed because he was running from the call of God and living in disobedience Jonah 1, 2. Elijah was depressed because he was tired 1 Kings 19. So as you can see, the causes of depression are varied, which means there is no one solution. However, Jesus always is the right answer, and no matter what cause the devil has used to bring depression, Jesus will lead us to victory when we follow him. He will show us what we need to do in order to live a life filled with joy. Jesus gave us "the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness" to put on Isaiah 61:3. If we don't use what he has given us, we will sink lower and lower into the pit of depression and this will cause problems. When we know how to do right but don't do it, we are 'flirting with the devil' just as a man and woman would in the first stages of a love affair. We simply cannot play that game with the devil because once we open a door, he may get a foothold, and once he gets that he can obtain a stronghold. The devil is progressive and aggressive against us and we must be aggressive against him. God covers us to a greater degree when we're ignorant and really don't know what we are doing, but once we know what is right yet still wilfully do wrong, it changes things. God still loves is and still wants to help us, but we have a greater degree of accountability due to knowledge. If we flirt with the devil we will always get hurt. Refusing to put on the garment of praise because we don't feel like it or don't want to is a dangerous games as it opens a door for deeper problems that can cause serious consequences. Whereas if you resist the devil at the onset, extended bouts of depression will be stopped. We resist the devil by submitting ourselves to God and wielding the Sword of the Spirit, which is his Word Ephesians 6:17. We must remember that depression is not part of God's will for us, so anytime we feel anything that is not part of his will we need to pick up the sword of his Word. The Bible promises that if we do that, if we will resist the devil firmly at his onset then he will flee from us James 4. Stand on the Word of God and refuse to let the negative feelings weigh upon us and depress us. In Isaiah 61 we see that Jesus was anointed and sent by God to preach the gospel of good tidings to the poor in spirit, to heal the broken hearted, to set free captives and to grant joy to the mourning, to give them an ornament of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened and failing spirit. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8. This Scripture tells us that we are no longer condemned, judged guilty or wrong, yet so often we judge and condemn ourselves. It is not uncommon for depressed people to carry a huge sense of guilt around with them, sometimes not even knowing why. In order to overcome this, a greater understanding of the Word of God is needed and from this we can learn what we must not only receive forgiveness from God, but that we must also forgive ourselves, stop punishing ourselves for something that God has forgiven and forgotten, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." Acts 10:15. That does not mean that we are now perfect or incapable of error. It just means that we can go on with our lives without being weighed down with a constant burden of guilt and condemnation for what is in the past. As long as we are doing the best we can, we truly repent for our sins and our heart is right before God, we can stay out from under the burden of guilt and condemnation. God knows that if our heart is right then our actions will eventually come into line with our heart.

Sing and Shout for joy!

"Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!" Psalm 32:11. One of the ways we can express our joy and rejoice is by singing psalms, hymns and other spiritual songs. "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord," Ephesians 5:19, this is Paul's excellent advice to us. When the devil starts to bother us we can literally sing him out of our lives, or we can 'shout' him out, which means shouting praise and glory to God. There is no focus on the issue, problem, devil or depression; the attention is ALL on God. If you sing more and shout more you will notice that you will start to feel better as it creates a protective wall around us. These acts can also tear down walls and strongholds. In Joshua
6:20, God directed the people to shout and bring down a wall, they raised a great shout and Jericho's wall fell down and the Israelites passed through and took the city. An excellent way to use this tool is to get up every morning with a song on your lips and praise in your mouth for the Lord as a means of dispelling depression. Discipline yourself to make song and praise part of your morning routine, stop sitting in tired silence or staring at the television. Start your day the best way; sing and shout! Songs and shouts of deliverance can overcome downcast feelings and emotions. David battled with depression, and consequently many of his psalms are songs of praise to God to be sung in the midst of disturbing and unsettling situations. When you feel down, turn to the psalms and speak them out loud. Speaking out loud has a far greater impact on you than just silently reading and as long as we don't just read it and confess it, but actually do it then the promises in the Word of God will come to pass. Paul said that we must operate by the Spirit of God and not by the flesh. In Galatians 6:8 he warned that; "he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." This is why we need to learn to do as David did and speak to our soul, otherwise it will take control over us and lead us to decay, ruin and destruction. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my saviour and my God." Psalm 42:5. Our inner self can at times feel cast down just like David's did. When he felt that way he put his hope in God and waited expectantly for God, praising him. David knew that when he got down, his countenance went down with him. That is why he talked to himself, his soul, and encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord 1 Samuel 30:6. When we find ourselves in that same depressed state we should wait expectantly for the Lord, praise him and encourage and strengthen ourselves in him. "We who are righteous, in right standing with God, by believing in Jesus Christ, we who take refuge and put our trust in the Lord can sing and shout for joy! The Lord makes a covering over us and defends us, he fights our battles for us when we praise Him!" 2 Chronicles 20.

Smiling is serious business!

The ability to smile is one of the greatest and most powerful gifts that we have, yet look around, there are so many serious, stiff people out there. We all have a reason to smile every single day! We may have had a childhood that didn't give us much to smile about but, "rejoicing comes in the morning" Psalm 30:5. As a saved Christian you have joy in your heart, God knows it's there and he wants you to express it so that everyone can see it and benefit from it. You don't always feel joy until you purposely activate it by making the decision to smile. The beauty is that when joy is obvious in your life, it rubs off on other people but when it is kept inside of you, you can create a heavy, serious atmosphere around you. Joy and sorrow cannot dwell together so you need to decide whether to have light or dark in your life. Society works so much better when the population is smiling and joyful. Joy is infectious; get out there and spread a smiling infection! At times you reach a certain point in your walk with God in different areas and feel you're stuck there. You know that there is more to be had but you sense that something is blocking it reaching you. One of these blocks is a lack of joy. Joy is part of our receptacle to receive things from God and not outwardly showing joy creates this block. If the joy of the Lord is inside of you but you don't smile and express the brightness within you, life just won't go right. How people see you has a great deal to do with their willingness toward you in many areas. People don't usually want to bless or help someone do something if they appear to have a bad attitude. Every one of us knows how to smile, it's one of God's gifts to us. A new born baby can smile at around 4 weeks of age, long before they can walk and talk so this is an indicator of the importance that God places on joy. Expressing joy through the calm delight of smiling will bring good things into your life alongside you showing the light of Jesus to others. In the Bible, the Lord told his people to rejoice when they faced their enemies. He told them to rejoice when they went into battle or when it looked like death was imminent. In Chronicles 20, he told them to rejoice, sing and praise with a loud voice no matter what happened. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds," James 1:2. Sadly, most people truly do not understand how expressing joy in the Lord will get rid of circumstances that are not godly because they are full of the devil. The devil hates God's joy, so by being joyful will help keep him out of your life.

The Power of Rejoicing

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4. Throughout the Bible, God instructs people to be filled with joy and rejoice. Anytime that God tells us twice to do something, as Paul instructed the Philippians, we need to pay real close attention to what he is saying. There is power available to help people who are imprisoned by and shackled with depression. Rejoicing can release so much power just by smiling, laughing and having a good time, and often it can make problems go totally away. When people get depressed, they go for counselling, they start taking medication, but they don't rejoice. If they could just begin to smile, the depression will start to lift and their circumstances would begin to change. Change is often the result of a simple adjustment in how we respond in a given situation, and if we can do this as soon as we feel the beginnings of a depression then it won't have chance to move in. If you are saved, the Holy Spirit dwells within you. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, and the Spirit is in you, therefore joy is in you and you need to tap into it. We don't need to go searching for joy, it's already there, we just need to learn how to release it. In order for the joy of the Lord to be your strength, you must be joined with God which provokes joy in your life. But when you are not used to expressing joy it can feel like such hard work trying to be joyful and you may not feel like it is doing any good, but if you keep it up you will soon start to feel the joy. To clarify, joyful doesn't mean laughing hysterically, bouncing around, it is usually much more subtle and often silent. We rejoice by being glad and calmly happy or even simply living in a state of calm delight.

Phases of Depression

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:1-2. People in all walks of life can suffer from depression. It is not an exclusive illness. The Bible tells of kings and prophets who became depressed, 3 of those being King David, Jonah and Elijah. It is believed that disappointment is the first phase of depression. We all have to deal with disappointment at one time or another, no one has everything happen in life the way they expect it to. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way but we need to know what to do with that feeling. Paul said, "...but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead." Philippians 3:13. Paul knew that one important thing to him was to let go of what lay behind and press on towards the things that were ahead. When we get disappointed, Jesus can re-appoint us and that is what happened to Paul. When this happens we are letting go of the causes of the disappointment and pressing toward what God has for us: a new vision, plan, mindset. If we are willing, God is willing to do new things in our lives but too often we hold onto things from the past. Some people seem to prefer to talk about their life disappointments rather than their dreams and visions for the future. Every day is a brand new start which gives us the opportunity to let of go of yesterday's disappointments and give God a chance to do something awesome for us today. Sadly, some people refuse to hope any longer due to having had lots of disappointment in the past, but a life without hope is a really sad place to dwell. It surely would be far better to hope all of your life and receive nothing than to live with perpetual disappointment. Hope costs nothing but disappointment costs you your joy and your dreams. God promises those who place their hope in him that they will never be disappointed or put to shame, and keeping our hope in Jesus will in time produce positive results. Unfulfilled expectations cause disappointment. We have many expectations every single day, big and small, from expecting to get a promotion at work right down to expecting the newspaper to come through the door on a morning. We also have expectations about other people. We don't expect our friends to gossip about us, but they sometimes do. We expect things from ourselves that we don't carry out, we have all let ourselves down this way many times. This is perhaps because we all expect more from ourselves than we can give. Also, we expect things from God that are not in his plans for us, so they will never be fulfilled and we will feel let down by him. When we get disappointed, we need to decide what we are going to do, how will we respond. The danger is that if you choose to stay disappointed for too long, discouragement will enter which is at a whole deeper level. Discouragement is the opposite of courage. When we are discouraged we have lost our courage. God gives everyone who believes in him courage and the devil tries to steal it. If we are to succeed at anything, we need to remain strong and courageous, "Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." 1 Peter 5:9. We need to understand the devil's tactics so that we can be ready to resist them at the onset. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12. When we become discouraged about something we are also hopeless about it and it is impossible to be discouraged and hopeful at the same time. Sometimes there is a battle in our mind between hope and discouragement. The Holy Spirit is leading us to be hopeful whilst the devil is attacking us with discouragement. It is so important at this point for the believer to get victory in the spiritual realm. To be victorious and keep our attitude hopeful we need to renew our mind to God's promises about our situation and stand in faith, believing God will be true to his Word. It is also important to get the victory early because someone who has become depressed can sink deeper. There is depression, then there are 2 deeper levels; despondency and despair. It is at the point of despair that a person will consider or even commit suicide. Mildly depressed people may feel sad and be reclusive, their thoughts are negative and their attitude is negative. They may still have small glimmers of hope and it is ultimately that hope which will help pull the person out of depression. A despondent person has all the similar symptoms of a depressed person but they are deeper. They are dejected in mind, failing in spirit, lost of all courage and are sinking due to a loss of hope. A person in despair is even deeper down. Despair is distinct from despondency in that despair is a total loss of hope whereas it isn't with despondency. Despair is the abandonment of effort, it is also sometimes connected to violent outbursts. Those who attempt to commit suicide are in this deepest state of depression - despair, and it is the devil's aim to lead us to that point.

The reason for everything

We are not just created by God, but for him too. The ultimate goal of the universe is to show the glory of God. Without his glory, there would be nothing. The glory of God is who he is, his nature, his character and his power. His glory is everywhere around us. Everything created by God reflects his glory in some way. Creation reveals our Creator's glory. Through nature we learn that God is powerful, that he enjoys variety, loves beauty and is organised, wise and creative. The Bible says, "The heavens declare the glory of God" Psalm 19:1. Throughout history, God has revealed his glory to people in different settings, but God's clearest picture of what he is really like is seen in his son, Jesus Christ, "The Son reflects the glory of God and shows exactly what God is like" Hebrews 1:3. Jesus said, "I am the light of the world." John 8:12, and because of this, we are no longer in the dark about what God is really like. Jesus' presence on earth has allowed us so many insights into God, "The Word became human and lived among us and we saw his glory...a glory full of grace and truth." John 1:14. As humans created by God we are commanded to recognise God's glory, honour his glory, praise his glory, reflect his glory and live for his glory. God deserves this so much and we owe him every honour we can possibly give. Only 2 of God's creations in the whole universe fail to bring glory to him: fallen angels and us. Not giving God his due glory is sin, in fact all sin at its root is failing to give God the glory he deserves. Refusing to bring glory to God is prideful rebellion and it is the sin that caused Satan's fall, and ours too. We are all guilty of having lived for our own glory instead of God's, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23. This is the worst sin and the biggest mistake we can commit, whereas living for God's glory is the greatest achievement we can accomplish in our lives. God says, "They are my own people, and I created them to bring me glory." Isaiah 43:7. Jesus honoured God by fulfilling his purpose on earth. When anything in creation fulfils its purpose it brings glory to God. There are 5 ways how to fulfil God's purposes for your life:

1. Bring glory to God by getting to know and love him.

2. Bring God glory by learning to love other people in God's family

3. Bring God glory by becoming like Christ

4. Bring God glory by serving others

5. Bring God glory by telling others about him